Amelie’s favourite song of the moment is Nicky Minaj’s, Anaconda. You can imagine my horror when I heard her in Tesco singing, Oh my gosh, look at her butt! We were stood next to a rather large lady, who looked disgusted and offended! I turned to correct Amelie, only to be addressed by her shaking her bum cheeks at me. If the ground could have opened up, I would have been grateful!

I did a ‘rescue the animals from the bowl of water’ game with Ava and she ended up face down on the ground, inconsolable. Basically, she thought Mummy had drowned her toys ?

Poppy pooed so loudly at a wedding that the back three rows turned round, to be met with the lovely sight of it erupting through her tights. And in the rush we hadn’t packed wipes ?

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Article written by Sara Conway