CONFESSIONS OF AN HONEST MUM #20

 Ninety-nine per cent of being a parent is problem-solving when the unexpected happens…

…And then feeling overly proud while your son runs around with a tampon up his nose.

 M just had a nosebleed in the park. After using up all my tissue it still hadn’t stopped bleeding, so I had to resort to sticking a tampon up my son’s nose, leading to LOTS of unwanted questions.

My twins always run in opposite directions in the park and I have to judge which is running faster, grab that one, turn round and chase the other. To combat this, I bought the wrist harnesses that you’re supposed to put on your own wrist and then to your kid’s. Instead, I attach the twins together. When they try to run in opposite directions they both bounce back!

I tell the kids that little birds are following them when they go to school, and if they do anything naughty, the birds will report back. Every time they look up there’s a handy truth-telling bird keeping an eye out!

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Article written by Sara Conway
Artwork by Marie Le Fevre