“This morning my delightful one year old managed to post a most disgusting photo of me to Instagram Stories.

I’d just woken up in my mum’s dressing gown with my mouth hanging open. To add insult to injury, she’d somehow managed to put a crown on my head! My sister noticed 5 hours later after 400 views. I’m completely mortified!”

“I have twin sons and everyone (4 older siblings and both parents) thought the others were looking after them. Not only did they escape from the front garden, but they were found by a kind ambulance driver (who luckily hadn’t been responding to an emergency call) toddling off down the lane outside our house. He brought one back in each hand before we even realised they had gone. The moral of the story is that having more pairs of hands doesn’t make things easier – unless everyone knows who is in charge of the little monsters in the first place!”

“I recently had to go for a smear test and stupidly told T that the doctor was ‘checking my bottom’. Fast-forward a week; we were in the LIBRARY and T picked up a book about hospitals. “You went to the doctor, didn’t you, Mummy, because you’ve got something wrong with your bottom. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BOTTOM, MUMMY?” OMG. Tumbleweed.”

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